I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
