is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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