I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
