i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
