She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
