quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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