things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
