that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
