we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
