You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
