Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.

(1-206): View more from Washington

Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.

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(720): View more from Colorado

so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass

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(678): View more from Georgia

NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree

(404): View more from Georgia

YES.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Found a pint glass in my snow pants.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.

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(620): View more from Kansas

I'm so gassy and it's your fault.

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