On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize