He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
