And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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