Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
