2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Couch. On fire.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
