I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
