the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
