You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we're making bets on your personal life
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
