is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
