new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
COCAINE IS GR8
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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