if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
