Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
do nipples grow back?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize