Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
