i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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