Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
