at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize