either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
