i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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