I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
