it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You made out with two different species that night
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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