I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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