All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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