I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
