before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
