My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
