Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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