Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
he had hair everywhere except his balls
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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