Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
