just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You ate ashes out of my bong
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
