He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Houston, we have a blender
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
