Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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