marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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