he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
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