i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
