I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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