Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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