careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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