Define "chronic" masturbator.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
