We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize