For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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