Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
