why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
