Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
