It was confusing and full of hummus
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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